about my mind not my heart

 Even though I have been able to stop the bad habits in my hands, it is difficult to stop them in my feet.

 If he doesn't show his face forever I will still like him, because I fell in love with his voice and work not his visuals.

 It's been a year since I've been able to consistently be a WO, but during that year I made a lot of mistakes, but I've realized all those mistakes.

 I felt relieved, because I felt like I no longer had to maintain the oppressive system, but this wasn't over. There was still more to come.

 The rhythm may be broken, but it's not because I'm lazy. It's because I forget, I made a rule that I can tolerate if I forget, one of which is writing twice a day here, that's if I forget.

 It turns out there was a day when I forgot this, the rhythm is now broken

 Finally, I got rid of something I had been regretting for so long.

 It was a mess at the end, everyone was disappointed and annoyed, but I wasn't surprised maybe because I didn't care.

 I'm confused about what I want write, so I write about my confused.

 It's quite difficult to forget someone with a very common name, his name is everywhere.

 In every country there is always something called "beauty standards" and this is always directed at women. Even though I don't care and believe I'm beautiful the way I am, I feel bad about this. As for men? Nothing, and they keep demanding a lot from women, even though they are just selfish creatures who are not good at looking in the mirror

 They always say "men don't like skinny women" so what do I care?? I live for myself, not to satisfy other people, let alone men's lust, that's not my style.

 I saw a small thing, but that small thing was not a small thing, it managed to make me cry so hard, only childhood memories that were clearly remembered in my head.

 Maybe now I'm calmer, someone has helped me, I know I'm not alone, yes, maybe.

 Education is not just about the shell, but also the content. But unfortunately, the education system here prioritizes the shell or image. Even an example of the image itself is high accreditation. We are talking about my school, it has A accreditation but there are still many boarding hours, every day there are always students who run away or skip school, facilities are lacking, the bathrooms are dirty and smelly and there are no extracurricular activities at all. Does a school with many shortcomings like this deserve to get an accreditation as high as A which is synonymous with perfection? I think it's more like filling out an exam paper, but only answering two questions correctly but strangely getting a score of 80, if a sane person would probably be embarrassed

 Pretending to know something and saying something that is completely wrong, how hard is it to do some research on the internet first?

 If you say there isn't any, that's not true either, there is some. But of course, choose to use or prioritize things that are more important or a priority.

 I can't believe a man would want a woman who has never been touched by anyone, but her type is a woman from a place that allows sex before marriage.

 I have had the flu many times but I think this flu is the most torturous and severe.

 I now limit any information that enters my brain by limiting conversations with other people around me. My brain is full, no need to fill it with useless gossip anymore.

 Education is not just about the shell, but also about the content, many educational institutions create an image while in fact the quality is... Minus

 I never wanted to describe myself as an object, alone and called unmarketable just because you're single? Even though I'm too precious to be owned by just anyone

 Time flies so fast than I expected, I even remember that I wanted to grow up quickly but now I know how it feels.

 I have one of these things that I normalize even though it's not good for me, that is to always normalize fatigue.

  I saw a woman who openly wanted a well-established man as a partner, but the response from the man was to get angry as if he couldn't accept it and accused her of being "materialistic". Even though being well-established is the bare minimum for a man who really wants a partner, right? Some even brought religion into it, even though in religion, if you are not yet capable but force yourself to have a serious relationship, the law is also makruh. I'm surprised, they say men are creatures who rely on logic, but they can't even think like this

 I've had insomnia for a month and always feel depressed, but i will try to make insomnia into something fun

 I've come this far, how could I possibly stop and give up, that's impossible.

 I am proud of myself, I don't use my lack of emotional needs from my parents as an excuse to get stuck in a detrimental relationship.

 I'm too tired, even just to hope and make wishes. Just let it all flow.

 I feel dark and dark thoughts are starting to affect me too.